The holidays are considered a time of joy and giving, but they also can be a time of seasonal blues. Unrealistic expectations, loneliness, stress, grief and resentment can all contribute to transitory feelings of depression.

The mere changing of the seasons can affect one’s outlook. People with seasonal affective disorder feel low energy from the drop in serotonin levels and limited amount of sunlight during the winter months. Throw expectations into the mix, and the season can become a burden instead of a joy.

What can you do to beat the holiday blues?

• Ask yourself, “Can I accept that I feel this way?” Don’t push against it. Whatever we focus on expands. Don’t confuse acceptance with approval. We can accept something without approving or liking it. Acceptance is simply a state of not pushing against something.

• Share with someone you trust. Can you remember how many times just talking about how you feel has helped you? Sharing your own darkness can bring you and the other person into the light.

• Take action. The holidays are really about presence, not presents. Taking the time to write a special note to someone you’ve lost contact with or serving food at a homeless shelter are both actions that can help boost your mood.

• Lower your expectations. What are you expecting during the season? A perfect gourmet holiday dinner? Harmonious family activities? Romantic evenings by the fire? Giving or receiving the perfect gift? How long is your to-do list? Simplify your life. Resolve to stay in the present moment.

• Emotionally detach from gifts. Often we attach a person’s affection for us to their reaction to our gift. The message we receive is “If you don’t love my gift, you don’t love me.” Or, we expect a gift of great meaning from someone we love and then feel disappointed if the gift does not meet our expectations. Releasing emotional strings from giving and receiving gifts frees everyone involved.

• Find support for your grief. Hospice organizations provide excellent resources for dealing with grief during the holidays. They offer grief counseling, coaching and support groups to help you experience your feelings.

• Love yourself. Sometimes during the holidays we focus too much on loving everyone else but ourselves. Louise Hay says that “love and acceptance of self” is the answer to many things. Can you love and accept yourself right now? Can you do something special to nourish and celebrate you? Look in a mirror, take a deep breath, smile and love the person you see.